Per Phydeaux, I am to lie to you, my loyal readers.
This breaks my heart; it truly does. I am unused to such subterfuge. (And there is Lie #1. Y'all can figure out which part.)
I am a spy sent by Odin to see if the world is prepared for Ragnarök. I'd be done already (the answer is a resounding "yes") if I didn't have to still do the whole "transporting warriors to Valhalla" thing. Odin is a real corporate downsizing, make-one-person-do-two-jobs Supply-sider. I don't know why he didn't send Loki on this fool's errand. It would be fitting.
Enough whinging about my job, though.
This entire "Christianity" thing--I knew the guy, he wasn't all that. His peace on Earth crap almost put me out of a job. Thank the gods it didn't ever really catch on.
I've been to see Venus. She's a total bitch.
Valhalla? Yeah, not such a good deal if you're a woman unless you really like being a waitress in a roomful of horny, drunk soldiers. And even they're getting bored with the whole quaffing thing after all these years. The ass-grabs seem almost perfunctory these days.
Keith is really a humanoid-looking animated robot on loan from Honda. I'm using him as a cover for my spying operation. What those Honda folks can do with hydrolics is amazing, believe me. Frank Zappa just didn't know.
The children are, of course, norns who are here to help me with my mission. They do not help much, let me tell you. Your gadgets have corrupted them and I do not think we'll be able to pry that MP 3 player out of the The Girl's grasp when the time comes to head back to Asgard. Odin will be pissed.
I hope these revelations won't trouble you too much. After all, I am completely harmless.
(And that makes 7.)
Now, I tag:
Elayne (who will do this much better than I)
Gine (sorry about that last nerve)
Ranuel (I'll bet her story is about anime)
Burning Prairie
and
Pidomon (because there is no way to endear oneself to new friends quite like memes (c;)
Sunday, December 30, 2007
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6 comments:
wow a creative writing project-my favorite! (hey there's lie #1 this may be easier than i thought:))
LOL. It was hard. "Tell 7 lies" is not as easy as you'd think, you know?
I just want to say, as a 14 year old, it is an honor to know a Norse spy!
Well done!
As a Samoan-speaking ex-Republican cross-dressing stripper with a penchant for women's panties and public sex, I have to say you did a nice job here.
I want in! :P
Christina was partly right about the Norse spying, but I have broke off of Odin and have been spying for the Greeks. So now I am a Witch with shape shifting powers that watch you humans wreck the Mother with your ways. My Gods are disappointed with the way things are going and will be bringing total destruction to the human race, leaving vampires, lycans, mermaids, and shape shifters to rule the world. The Mother would be proud. But don't worry, some of you will have a "quick" death. :)
But living here has been fun. Watching you humans is like a movie that never ends. Drama everywhere. Especially in the place called "High School". Good Grief. I can't wait to ascend to the Heavens and be with my Master and my Lover.
The Girl <3
(Oops. Was I supposed to Lie? Hehe)
I havent forgotten I swear this week i will have my lies up
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